You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
