Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I hate all girls vehemently.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
