I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
