I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
