Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
