I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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