Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
