watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
