i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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