Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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