sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
