I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
