yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
