Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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