Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
