bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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