Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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