I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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