Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
