I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
