she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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