Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
