Non-Jews are for practice
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
