How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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