ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
