i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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