Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
