I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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