So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I looked at my own cervix.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
