my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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