i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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