is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
