Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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