Swine flu. Run for my life!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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