Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
