We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
