Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
