To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
