It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
