i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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