oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Drunk is not a location!
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