I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
