hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
