do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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