roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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