I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
