would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
where am i from again
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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