he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
