Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
