You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We had sex on a dog bed..
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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