Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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