tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
did i walk over a car last night?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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